I was hanging upside down the other day and screaming and holding on for dear life when it came to me……I chose this.
I was riding a rather intense roller coaster with my kids at Six Flags Magic Mountain. It is called Twisted Colossus. You should click on the link below so you can see what I am talking about. Every time I ride it I am reminded of the journey our family is on with Jesus. Every time I am literally hanging upside down for what seems like forever, I think….I have to write about this!(Odd thoughts to have during a roller coaster ride) But, it is true that this is what our journey is like and, it is true that…I chose this.
When I was in the second half of my 30’s….I rode a particularly rough roller coaster. I came away from it with a headache and I was disoriented like never before. I pulled some neck and back muscles as well. I told Chuck,
“Maybe 30-something is the end of roller-coaster riding for me.”
But somehow, now, at the age of 47, I find myself regularly hanging in some twisted, abnormal position while traveling at 80 miles per hour in some type of open car. There are multiple occasions where there is only this lap bar between me and certain death. This bar holds me in this car…while we dangle upside down. I am spending 85% of the time not even touching the seat on this one. Especially on the 85 degree drop that starts it all off after a slow climb up the chain hill.
“If it is so scary, why do you choose to ride it? “ You may be thinking.
I ask myself this question mid-ride almost every time. In fact, I usually scream out, “Why am I on this?” The answer wins out over fear and my age every time. Because Micah and Benjamin jumped up and down and begged me to ride. Because our whole family can ride it together and we share in one of the most terrifying and exciting experiences we have had together. Because the danger of what is happening somehow amplifies the fun we are having. There is something so glorious about screaming and yelling and hearing your children yell,
“THIS… IS…AWESOME !!!!” that outweighs the fear. And, if I sit on a bench while they ride, I never get to hear and experience this with them first hand. I will only get to hear the stories of their glorious conquests, but I will not be a partner with them in it. And that is not really living life. It is not how I was created to live! So, I choose to ride.
I remember the first time we all rode it. We finally jerked to a stop and we looked around at each other with hair that had been abused by the wind while our eyes were wide with the insanity of what we had just experienced. We were quiet for only a second when Chuck said to me,
“What just happened?”
Then, we laughed and yelled and tried to talk about all our fears and favorite moments all at once, with voices that were hoarse from screaming and yelling.
When I looked back over the ride, it kind of seemed like a 4 min. reenactment of our whole lives that I didn’t realize until God called us out of Berlin and into Los Angeles. I’ve often felt like we have repeatedly agreed to get on a ride we were “too old for” now. It certainly hasn’t been what I thought it would be. Our lives have been flipped upside down again and again with unexpected drops that were steeper than seem humanly possible. And, we have legitimately only been held in a place of safety by God himself. He alone stands between us and certain death. But when we stop….and acknowledge the shock and move past it….we can’t stop talking about how much fun we had, or how terrified we have been on this ride that God has jumped up and down and begged us to get on with Him.
And then, we completely lose our “common sense” and consider riding again.
The good news is that, at any point during a Twisted Colossus ride, I can look over at Micah and Benjamin and learn. I often tell them they are crazy roller coaster riders because I see them….arms extended above their heads, their little bodies not touching the seats at all and they are screaming with delight….not fear. They have relinquished all control, are totally in the moment of enjoying the ride, and their bodies sway and flow with the motions of the coaster. It is the time of their lives. They laugh and yell and even power through their own fears. Benjamin has even said before the ride,
“I’m afraid, but I’m going to do it anyway. I know I will love it.”
And I hear my own voice talking to Jesus in his same shaky, scared tone.
So, what I have learned from their reckless abandonment of (seemingly) all sense, is that you don’t end up with a headache or strained muscles if you release control. You enjoy the ride fully if you are not trying to protect yourself from injury and death. You let the safety bars do their job because you cannot protect yourself anyway. You enjoy the ride. It might not be what you expected, but that is what makes it worth riding. Releasing the control you never had to begin with is the key to being able to ride roller coasters at any age. There is no time limit that says “you are now too old to ride” unless you simply choose it to be so. So, I have learned (while hanging upside down) that this is just like our spiritual journey through life with Jesus. At any age, He asks us (or asks us again!) to go on a crazy journey with Him. And, the moment I stop trusting Him and try to “protect” myself, I strain something unnecessarily.
And why would we choose this? Why would we choose a journey where we can’t plan our future and we have no security and we can't protect our children? Who would do that? Who would knowingly strap themselves into such a ride? Weren’t we raised better than that? Aren’t we adults? Don’t we have a responsibility to our children? What about the fact you are getting older?
We choose to ride because we know Jesus and we know that His protection and provision are the only ones that actually exist.
And, He begs us to join Him because He knows that we are going to have a terrifyingly fun experience that will bind us together with Him and with each other that will give a solidness that the world cannot offer. Knowing Him so intimately is the greatest responsibility we have to our children. When we are hanging upside down and twisting and turning through a maze of new experiences we realize….there’s no place we’d rather be.
We find peace where we should find fear.
We find security where we should find terror.
We trust deeply and learn to be loved thoroughly.
And instead of hearing of the stories of faith, we experience them.
We become the living documentary of the presence of God.
Our passion shines gloriously obvious in the wildness of our eyes.
And in laughter and tears and with voices hoarse from excitement, we jump up and down and beg others to lose their common sense and ride.
Trust us…you’ll LOVE it.
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