Idolatry and Sonship

I recently found out that I was going to have some extra income. It was a significant amount and my heart rejoiced. Even though it was going to be dispersed evenly throughout the year, I began to make plans for this extra money even though none of it had been deposited into my bank account.  I thought to myself, "Wow I can give more, save more and I won't have to feel guilty about grabbing a cup of coffee, or spending too much money on my lunch break."

Then, almost without warning, it was yanked away. I felt like I had failed my wife and my marriage. Soon, the condemnation turned to anger against the alleged "perpetrators."  In my "righteous" anger I was going to confront those who took away the income that I needed so desperately. I even had a scripture verse to justify myself. 

"His father and mother did not know that it was from the Lord,  for he was seeking an opportunity against the Philistines. At that time the Philistines ruled over Israel.
Judges 14:4. 

I felt like maybe the Lord was using this occasion for me to expose the evil in those who had unjustly taken away my income. 

Later in the week I met with my mentor, Tom.  I knew I needed some wisdom on this issue because my emotions were running high and I was still very angry.   At one point in the conversation Tom said something like "sometimes our basic challenge as sons is to worship the Giver, not the gifts."  I said to him "this discipleship stuff is not as easy as it I thought it was."

Later that morning as I was driving to work the Lord spoke clearly to me. He said the evil that needed to be exposed was not the evil in the people with whom I was angry.  The evil that needed to be exposed was the idolatry in my own heart. My anger, my condemnation, my frustration, all pointed to something that was wrong in me, not in my alleged perpetrators. I was an idolator. My heart had so quickly had begun to worship the gifts and not the Giver. As I wept before the Lord, I was reminded that He is a good Father who will expose everything in His sons that prevents them from enjoying the Father.  God is aggressively angry about idolatry because it prevents us as sons from enjoying the good pleasure of a good God. He wants me to know that He is good and He is the ultimate Father who will not withhold what is good from his Children.  As my friend, Tom pointed out, God did not dangle this income in front of me and yank it away because He's bad.  He allowed this to happen to expose me and reveal Him in His glory and goodness.

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly." Psalms 84:11 ESV

"He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:32 ESV

As of this writing, the income has been restored. He is really good all the time with or without more income.

Written by Joel, The Colony, Texas